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Harley's Whimsical Moments

After reading my description of Harley as well as some of the stories that I have written about Harley's unusual abilities and seeing my photographs of him, people have contacted me asking whether Harley could ever do something embarrassing or whether he spends his life doing only extraordinary things. While many of Harley's actions are exceptional by any measure, he has certainly displayed conduct that can be seen as embarrassing, although that is fairly rare and often hilariously out of the ordinary. I'm most likely guilty of providing the opportunities for Harley's "events" by raising him to be a freethinking dog and letting him to make his own decisions. Being with me at all times and going along wherever I go, Harley is exposed to constant temptations and some of them are more difficult to resist than others. Thankfully, I am able to see comedy in every situation, which makes my life with Harley a journey of wonders. That question, however, inspired me to write about Harley's memorable moments from the other side of the spectrum and provide a glimpse into Harley's whimsicalness.

Harley in the Driver's Seat...

and how he taught a man to honk at his wife...

It isn't every day that a dog guardian is called on a public address system in a grocery store informing them that their 70 lbs dog is sitting in a fully relaxed manner in the driver's seat of their car deliberately honking the horn every five seconds. Yes, Harley has discovered where the horn is and as soon as I go into a grocery store, Harley moves over to the driver's seat, sticks his head out of the partly open car window and if I'm not back after what he considers a reasonable amount of time for grocery shopping, Harley starts honking. The first time it happened, I was in the store for less than five minutes. Even though I heard the honking while I was shopping, it didn't dawn on me that Harley could be responsible for the pandemonium until moments later when I heard the announcement over the PA system.

I parked my car just outside the store and as I looked out the big store window that was directly across from the cash register, I saw Harley sitting in the driver's seat, honking the horn every few seconds clearly pleased as punch with himself. I could feel that everyone's eyes went immediately to me. Given that I looked like an advertisement for a dog guardian, it didn't take anyone too long to figure out that the honking dog outside had to be mine. I had a Harley Davidson leash hanging around my neck and a treat bag - filled with deli snacks - with a logo ironically saying "Gentle Leader" attached to my waist. While the part: "Gentle" applies to me, the word "Leader" certainly could have been questioned by anyone looking at my happy-go-lucky Harley working the car horn. Seeing the happy grin on his face, his beautiful bright eyes paying attention to the surroundings every time he pressed the horn and watching Harley's gorgeous face sticking out of the partly open car window enjoying the cool November air, I chuckled at his visible delight.

To those who haven't been in this position, I can say that you really only have two choices in such situation: you can either become consumed by embarrassment and rush out of the store to make sure that your dog stops honking the car horn, which most likely will only draw more attention to you, OR - assuming that you can clearly see that your dog is safe and just enjoying himself - you can pretend that his honking is the most natural occurrence in your life. I was just about to pay for my groceries and given that the first option would only prolong my embarrassment, I chose the latter trying to keep my composure and make as dignified exit as it is humanly possible in such a situation. The fact is that no matter what you choose, the second that people figure out that it is your dog sitting in the car outside the store honking at you just for fun, most eyes are going to be on you anyway and the ones that won't be on you, will be on your dog.

As the cashier was scanning my groceries, I saw that Harley was watching me with a big grin on his face, so I went in a calm manner closer to the window and gave him a sign to stop honking and move to the back of the car, which he immediately did. Pleased with myself, I turned around and as I was walking the few steps back to the cash register, I heard another honk. The cashier pointed at Harley, who was, once again, back in the driver's seat honking, and asked the question that everyone around me already knew the answer to: "Is this your dog ?". "Yes, he is mine. Sorry about the noise" - I said and then added with a straight face: "he is just telling me to hurry up". Watching people's facial expression, I could tell that they weren't quite sure what to make out of my answer, especially since they could easily tell that Harley was having immense amount of fun clearly honking on purpose.

As I got out of the store, I saw that Harley had an audience observing him from the far with visible amusement. Seeing me coming, Harley immediately jumped over to the back of the car, sat down like a statue and stretched his neck towards me letting me know that he was expecting a treat. "Oh, come on" - I said to him - "are you kidding me ? You made a racket !". As I was putting my groceries into the car blinded by Harley's exuberant kisses that he was planting all over my face as usual, an older man came up to me and said: "Smart dog ! I have to try honking at my wife myself next time she goes into a store. She usually isn't as quick as you are!".

Harley - the Passionate Make-up Artist in a China Store

Harley and I were almost done with running errands, which I do because I have to, while Harley clearly enjoys everything about it, bouncing next to me often carrying my water bottle with great pride and joyfully making new friends wherever we go. We were heading back to the car when I from a distance saw an older lady struggling to open the door to a china store. Harley and I were several hundred meters away and on the other side of the street, but since no one seemed to notice her struggles, as we came closer, we crossed the street to help the lady out.

I had my hands full with several things, so I quickly put everything into one hand and I must have accidentally dropped Harley's leash, which I didn't realize until moments later. I rarely use a leash anyway, so normally it wouldn't matter, but that day, it did ! I grabbed the handle of the door and opened it for the lady. She was very appreciative and bent down to say hello to Harley and to pet him, which resulted in Harley giving her more affection than she anticipated. At first, Harley gently sniffed her face and then, with no warning, he gave the lady a sincere lick with the entire force of his large tongue beginning at her chin and going up to her forehead rearranging the lady's make-up in one swoop. Restraining myself from laughing, I immediately apologized and as I looked at the lady's face "improved" by Harley's unconventional kiss, I felt obligated to mention to her that she may need to correct her make-up. The lady took Harley's exuberance in good humor and the thought that she was suddenly wearing her lipstick on her forehead didn't seem to concern her, so she just shrugged my apologies off with laughter. I was only hoping that she wouldn't pull a mirror out of her purse until Harley and I were gone.

While I was still holding the door up for the lady, Harley took the opportunity to happily totter into the china store, at which point I realized that I didn't have the end of his leash in my hand anymore. Harley had a huge smile on his face, tail wagging wildly and never being in a china store before, Harley was clearly excited looking at all the breakable merchandise around. I could tell by his facial expression and his body language that he hasn't made up his mind yet on what exactly he would do. I wasn't concerned that Harley would do something wrong as I trust him anywhere, but Harley's tail is like a separate being, living its own life. While Harley makes sure that the rest of his body is behaving semi-well, he seems to be blissfully unaware of how happily ferocious his large tail is.

Just minutes earlier, Harley greeted - in the gentlest way possible - a toddler wobbling next to its mother, and then all excited, Harley turned around towards me with a big grin on his face while accidentally slapping the small child down with his wagging tail.

So now, as I was seeing Harley and his wildly active tail in the china store, I was close to panic... If Harley walked into the store a bit further, his wagging tail would have swept hundreds and hundreds of dollars worth of merchandise within seconds. I would also most likely become the center of undesirable attention, which I'm sure Harley would somehow manage to turn into a positive adventure for him. Trying to avoid that, I leaped into the store with the speed of lightning and got to Harley before he took another step, mainly because with his tail wagging non-stop, he was too busy charming a group of giggling female customers that were on their way out of the store. I got Harley's attention, by saying: "Casanova... let's go" and just as we were turning around to leave the china store, a security guard appeared heading towards us. I couldn't avoid him, so I said to Harley: "we are in trouble, so please behave". Harley, seeing the approaching guard, looked at me with a big grin on his face and immediately sat down next to me with the innocent facial expression of an angel. Harley's eyes, however, told me a different story and knowing that look all too well, I thought to myself: "we are doomed !".

I was expecting to be reprimanded by the security, but as the guard approached us and saw that Harley was with me, he smiled recognizing that the situation was under control. I quickly explained how Harley ended up in the china store letting the guard know that we were on our way out. We were just by the door when the guard said to me: "beautiful dog" and then squatted down saying: " hi handsome" to Harley, at which point Harley - naturally appreciating the compliment like any tactful dog would - repeated the greeting he had given the older lady minutes earlier, and with no warning gave the security guard a lick starting at his chin and going all the way up to his forehead. The guard, clearly not prepared for Harley's sudden display of affection, lost his balance and fell from the squatting position down to the floor. I looked around and saw that while there were many people in the store, none of them seemed to be doing any shopping as their full attention was suddenly on Harley and I. Harley was clearly delighted with himself while I wanted to crawl under a rock. Apologizing to the security guard, I said to Harley: "enough with the kissing!". That would have been the end of the story, but the security guard - still sitting on the floor - made the mistake of laughing and quickly announcing "Oh, that's no problem ! I love dogs, especially when they are as friendly as yours" and then continued petting Harley vigorously. Harley looked at me with a big smile on his face and an ecstatic thrill in his eyes that told me he was up to something. I thought to myself: "Mercy, that can't be good", and before I managed to react, it was too late. Harley appeared to have understood every word the guard said and immediately took his friendliness to another level by literally sitting on the security guard with his 70 lbs body and giving him another exuberant lick. "Harley, get a grip" - I said mortified by Harley's forthright way of acquainting himself with the security guard.

In all fairness to Harley, he is usually well-mannered and when given a clear message, he will do what is asked of him.... most of the time... In this case, however, my command fell flat on the floor when compared to the guard's giggling like a school girl while continuously petting Harley. Some of you reading this, may think: "why the heck didn't she just pull the dog off the guard like any responsible owner would?". I certainly could have tried that, but let's not forget that we were surrounded by breakable merchandise. Also, taking into account that I'm small-framed, 5'4" tall with a back that serves more of a decorative purpose rather than providing strength and I weigh less than 100 lbs while Harley weighs 70+ lbs and doubles in weight when he doesn't want to be pulled (which is never), physics dictates that pulling Harley is not going to work in my favor. If against all odds, I would manage to pull Harley off the guard, we would most likely knock some of the breakable merchandise around us causing an even bigger spectacle.

One would think that the guard would find the situation of having a big, overly friendly Flat Coated Retriever sitting on top of him with an overjoyed facial expression a bit disturbing, but apparently he was far from it. As I looked at the young security guard still unable to restrain himself from laughing, I said to him for the third time: "I'm very sorry, but I really can't help you until you stop laughing and petting Harley". Looking at Harley's facial expression, which was a mixture of limitless happiness and genuine surprise that he was allowed to behave the way he did, the guard kept giggling. After several unsuccessful attempts, the guard was finally able to stop laughing and as I said the magic words: "Harley, no more", Harley immediately got off the security guard, sat next to me with his well-known facial expression of a saint and still having a big grin glued to his face, he looked into my eyes with delight. In spite of embarrassment, I could see comedy in the situation and all I could do is smile. As I squatted down to say to Harley: "no more visits to china stores for you. Hope you are happy with yourself goofus", Harley planted oodles of kisses on my face. The guard was finally able to get himself into an upright position just in time to start laughing again. Harley and I eventually made it out of the china store and even though Harley's memorable visit there only lasted a few minutes, when we left, Harley had two new friends in his life.

Harley - the Water Dog

I should have probably gotten a clue from the experience in the china store that Harley was in the mood for trouble that day and drive straight home rather than tempt fate driving with Harley to a gallery village that we like to visit. It was summer time and the place was overly crowded with tourists. Harley and I were wandering around looking at the new sculptures placed outside when Harley remembered from his previous visits that there was a waterfall and a small river running through the gallery village. Since Harley is a water dog, he has a highly developed "water radar" even in places to which he has never been before and no matter where we are, he will always navigate me to the water. Remembering the river, Harley was very insistent to get to it, and as I gave him permission to run ahead, he leaped into the water with the speed of lightning being so excited that he could barely contain himself.

Of course in that very moment, a group of ladies had to approach the river. They were chatting loudly in German and laughing hysterically. I had a wet, overly friendly, euphoric dog in the water, and by the look on his face, I knew exactly what he was about to do - Harley had clearly made up his mind and I didn't even bother to stop the unavoidable. As soon as Harley saw the ladies, he stopped hurtling in the water, took a long, hard look at them and soaking wet, with a huge smile on his face, Harley bolted out of the water heading full speed towards them.

I knew that I only had seconds to figure out how to apologize to the ladies for what they were about to experience... I wasn't sure if the ladies were "dog people", so as my lunatic dog was approaching them on full turbo, I let them know that Harley was extremely friendly, emphasizing the word "extremely" as much as I could. I was almost hoping that the ladies didn't speak English, as I figured that being reprimanded in a language that I didn't understand might be a more pleasant experience for me. As Harley ran, huge amounts of water kept splashing from his wet body. He reached the ladies and politely said a very quick "hello". Then, only stopping long enough to shake himself dry just in front of them making sure that they got all wet, Harley happily ran back to me with a huge grin on his face. I considered to just running myself as after my experience in the china store less than one hour earlier, I was running out of excuses for Harley's unusual manners that day. Fortunately, Harley's water splashing was met with laughter and good humor - the ladies were German tourists, spoke English and one of the ladies had a Flat Coated Retriever back home, so Harley's enthusiasm thankfully only added to everyone's entertainment. After apologizing to the soaking wet ladies, I put Harley on the leash just to ensure that he wouldn't give me any other reason to apologize to more people that day. As I was clipping the leash onto his collar, Harley gave me a disappointed look as if saying: "What's up with the leash ? Don't you trust me?". I looked at my beautiful boy wondering what has gotten into him that day, and decided to call it a day and drive home, unaware that fate had yet another surprise in store for me...

Harley - the Art Lover

As Harley and I were passing an art gallery on the way to the car, I heard a man's voice calling Harley's name. I turned around to see a tall sunburned man in his early/mid 40s running towards us with a smile on his face saying in an excited tone of voice: "Hi Harley" and then squatting down to greet Harley, who - still wet after his river swim - immediately responded with the same enthusiasm. I didn't have the slightest idea who the man was or how he knew Harley, but since Harley already presented me with several exciting events that day, I wasn't willing to give him another opportunity to figure out some more unusual manners that I could apologize for. I was trying to find a polite way out for Harley and I to keep moving while thinking to myself: "Great, just what Harley needs right now... another overly excited human". The man looked at me and still having a huge smile on his face while exuberantly playing with Harley, asked: "How is your beautiful boy? Still mounting his way through art galleries ?". For a split second, I had no idea what he was referring to and then I remembered - in horror - the event that took me years to repress... It was by far the most embarrassing moment that Harley was a star of several years earlier...

It was the summer of 2007 and Harley was about 1,5 year old. We were walking through this very same artists village and stopped outside a small gallery. The doors to both the gallery and the artist's workshop were open, but since dogs are usually not welcome to art galleries, I only planned to stick my head inside. Seeing Harley and I, the artist, who also was the owner of the place came out from his workshop and said that if I wished, I could take Harley inside the gallery as well as his workshop. It was closing time and he only waited for a buyer to come and pick one of his pieces up, so Harley and I were welcome to look around. As I talked to the artist in his workshop, Harley was inspecting the place and after closely examining everything of interests, he walked out heading straight for the art gallery. Aware of Harley's vigorous tail movement, I was about to call him, but the owner of the gallery said that Harley could just go in as there was nothing breakable inside and all the sculptures were bolted to either the walls or floors, so Harley's tail couldn't knock anything down. Harley was gone for quite a while, but I could see the gallery door, so I knew that he was still inside. Being assured by the artist that Harley couldn't accidentally damage anything, I wasn't worried. The buyer eventually arrived and after chatting with us for a couple of minutes, we all went to the gallery to see a sight that I've been trying to repress ever since. Among all the sculptures was Harley... mounting the very piece that the buyer came to pick up. I was considering to pretend that Harley wasn't my dog and that in fact I had no knowledge of who he was or how he got in there, which most likely wouldn't have worked as the artist may not have backed me up on that one. I was mortified, stunned and very apologetic. I immediately called Harley to get off the sculpture, but Harley - who normally always listens to me right away - must have suffered a temporary hearing loss, so my words fell for deaf ears. While the buyer and artist were chuckling with amusement, I had to peel Harley off the sculpture. It took me years to erase that image from my mind and as I now looked at the smiling man who was playing with Harley in such exuberant way, I realized that he was the buyer of the sculpture that Harley was so fond of years earlier.

Events like the ones described above are rare and far in between, so an occasional slip only adds more excitement to our days. While Harley is an extraordinary being in every sense of the word and spends his life doing amazing deeds, he certainly can - on occasion - do embarrassing things, but even those are quite exceptional and in some ways always comical. Being raised as a freethinking dog and provided with opportunities to make choices, every now and then Harley's enthusiasm takes over and leads the way. No human is perfect, so why should Harley have to be ? Having said that, Harley's whimsical moments, no matter how crazy they may be, are always kind and always friendly, so in every way, Harley is closer to perfection than any human I have ever known...

Harley's Whimsical Moments

Copyright © 2011 Monika Laryett-Olson

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Monika Laryett-Olson